Monday, 24 August 2015

What motherhood taught me. Part 1

Topshop maternity is your friend. Like your BFF.

Childbirth hurts but I wouldn't have had 3 if it was unbearable. Gas and air, epidurals, pethidine, whatever drug of your choosing its your choosing. Oh and i have had all the above mentioned and natural, it still hurt BUT was bearable. 

Looking down and seeing babies head is pretty uhm eyeopening. It totally freaked me out and I only did that once. But hey I did it and I won't forget that, ever.

Consultant care..... I saw him once, had a sweep and labour kicked off.  We were on the registrars pile every other time. Oh and the husband fell asleep on every 2hr wait we had! That makes you angry. Especially when you need food.

You do waddle, huff, puff and feel like your cervix is falling out by 35 weeks. The final stage comments, are as annoying as you can imagine. 

SPD is real. As is waking the sleeping man next to you, to roll you. 

Those maternity pads are that size for a reason. Oh and afterpains are a thing, after the 2nd and 3rd these get pretty brave. Get painkillers.

That first kick really does feel like butterflies. Popping butterflies. 

The sickness does end. Although it feels like it never will. Ever. You will also very soon hear the end of peoples remedies for the sickness, that never work for someone like yourself.

You become scarily used to someone saying open wide and we all know that we don't mean the dentist.

Eventually you will sit with ease and not need to carry a cushion or inflatable ring in some cases.

Yes everything really does cost that much! Muslins have to be the most used, value for money, versatile item you'll buy. Ever.

You will become mushy and emotional, standard. (PND is different. I will come back to that another day)

Sleep deprivation will ease. You will one day wake at a normal hour again and when that happens you will appreciate it and then wonder where the years went.

You get boobs. For any smaller busted women like me, you will be amazed. You also leak and at some point you will be unfazed by this as it becomes normal.

Bottle feeding-breast feeding. It's YOUR choice.

Stretch marks are part of the deal in most cases and one day you will be ok with these. You will be body confident once again.

You will feel trendy and you again one day. Honest.

Unfortunately that beautiful bundle of joy will one day quite frankly make you really freaking mad. But then you get over it. You will look at how your hormonal pre-teen sleeps and wonder how her hand got SO big. You'll swallow a lump and smile.

Kids eat A LOT. Growth spurts don't stop at toddlerdom! They eat your treats.

Childcare costs A LOT. But that job pays for pretty good times. You can do it. #bossmum

Embrace the days when a babygrow will do. Kids riverisland, football kits and Nike will soon take over. It's not as cheap as a babygrow and as I say they grow a lot. Demanding little darlings. Oh and you'll be broke for at least half the month.

You will shout. Then hate yourself.

You will get frustrated. Then hate yourself. 

You will say no. Lots. Then hate yourself-even when you know its lesson learning stuff.

I still struggle to remember the date of births straight away. Your own date of birth becomes insignificant.

You will be amazed at the bravado and the attitude and then you will be all the more amazed that you are staring at quite simply a mini you. How much more amazing can that be. Even if that makes you feel one big ball of contradiction

You can love more than one. Even when they are all bickering at once. 

You will be amazed at the amount of crap  I mean useful stuff that you accumulate.

You will be asked the most mortifying questions on the spot, with an audience, by your child.

Bedtime will be bliss.

Car journeys won't ever be the same. 

You will doubt yourself. You're doing great.

More importantly you will continue to second guess, make on the spot decisions, worry, cry and wish for hindsight plenty of times. However motherhood will be the most amazing, challenging, enriching and life changing things that you will experience. For all the hard times, you have a huge amount of good. 

You will look at those sleeping babies and despite how bad a day can be you will be proud.

Oh and they take your tablet, run it dead and leave gems like this....

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