Friday, 15 March 2013

The next step

A talking point that comes up often is when to start a family, when to stop is also one. It's a personal choice with no wrong or right answers.

Everyone's got their own reasons for what they choose when planning a family and ours was to stick with 3, however that doesn't mean anyone else's decision is wrong.

Believe me I felt that incredibly broody stage and mourned for the 4th we would never have when hubby stepped up to the task of the snip. It took a good while for that sadness to end,  but at some point every woman has to make that choice. So it was going to hit me sooner or later.  Even those on the "16 and counting" programme will at some point have to stop.

Financially we couldn't provide for another without it having an effect on our current children and that was reasons enough . We are tiring with the 'getting by' just like many others are I'm sure. Things will especially get easier when I'm back working longer hours with no constant childcare worry, rather than squeezing the hours in here and there we have now.

You could say that I am envious of those who don't have that struggle, but if truth be told I'm not. I can sometimes find it hard keeping attention even with the three that we have now and I am often reminding myself who's had what time and who's next. 

Making time for myself is only just returning to me and I certainly don't miss the insomnia that night feeds kindly bless you with. I've had that precious time of breast vs bottle,  baby led vs puree, weigh ins and my own weight loss worry. Although as stressful as it can be it's also a blessing, especially that first year which is so special. I'm more than happy to cuddle and coo over friends babies and I really can't wait for my sisters to eventually have babies of their own but I'm personally done with that stage myself.

Getting out the house is getting easier albeit still a military line up, life on the whim is easier and last minute plans are not so stresful. Even my handbag resembles that of a handbag not a changing bag.

Whilst I wished I had listened to my mums advice earlier of enjoying them so young as it flies past so fast,  I'm enjoying them very much now as like mum often reminds me we will never get this time back.

My PND with my daughters meant I missed out so much and I often have to really think hard on times that my husband will reflect on. So making the most of this time with my the babies now matters even more to me.

Not only that as a couple we are really looking forward to where WE go from here. My husband suffered with me going through the hell of PND and I without wanting to neglected him. He stood by me still when I spat out such evil things to him and our relationship against odds stood the test of time.  It was a relief when I was well after my sons arrival three years ago for both of us. 

Now we are finally at a stage of happiness and enjoyment again and this will only get better as our children rapidly reach more independence in life. We had children quite early on in our relationship so the time we had as a couple were short. We have so many exciting plans ahead of us and I can't wait. So here's to our next step!  


  1. I found you through Sue's blog and immediately this post struck such a chord. My husband and I are talking about this at the moment, we have two precious children although I would love four. However I feel that if we have more, it would be harder to give them everything we believe is important (money for their education/hobbies/first home etc)although I may well change my mind!! Ours are still babies so we have a long time to think about it, I am so glad you shared your thoughts on this!

    1. Your welcome, thankyou for commenting! My youngest is with his Nana today and its amazing how much less stress there is in the house. Also worth remembering how you will cope with the teenager stage. That was enough to make us stop too! Good luck with whatever you choose.