Thursday, 21 February 2013

Mummy's Bathtime Fail

Mums reading will surely be aware of this book....

If not buy it. It will provide you with some truthful humor to the bedtime story.

All I wanted after finishing my first day back on the "Shred" after a 2.5 week break was a lush hot bath. Not one of those bath's that has to be taken at 9pm when the children are asleep, dinner is cooked, husband fed  and I have caught up on any 'stuff' that needed 'stuff' doing. Where does all this 'stuff' come from anyhow!?

What I wanted was a bath at 6pm. Yes I realise that's unreasonable and I was setting myself up to fail but with the husband finally on his day off and on children duty I thought I was safe.

The bath was run. It was one of those deep, hot and bubbly types, that a cool white wine would have partnered well (sadly I have none in the house). Almost too hot it was the type that leaves you with a red torso stripe. I had lowered my numb heavy self in and I had my smutty mummy "Bared To You" book started. I've finished 50 shades so I am happy to give Sylvia Day a chance. Don't judge me.

I then reached the stage where it was getting to hot (the bath not the book you must understand) and I had to make that decision, "Do I stay in a bit longer or shave and get out..." It had probably only been 5 minutes.

As much as I try I don't seem to programmed for anything more than a 10-15 minute bath since 2005.

The ritual leg shave had begun when I had the first visitor in the form of a popping 3 year old in desperate need of the "Torlet mom". I then proceeded to have the spanish inquisition on why I am shaving said legs all with the sounds effects that you just don't expect of someone so small. The husband then enters questioning my choice of book with the odd hint thrown in. After attending to the noisy toddler the husband leaves and I was left with child no1 taking it upon himself to add his toys to my bath.

With Woody, Buzz and Lightening McQueen making for uncomfortable companions, the girls arrived asking if they can get in. Spying my book on the floor they inform me it's naughty to have a book in the bath, picking it up where I have left it rested at my page and begin to read the cover. After a "I am a adult, therfore allowed" speech I snatched the book back. By this point it was very evident that a 6pm bath was a total fail.

The thing is for us mums it doesn't end there does it? We have the humiliation of getting out to an audience. "Why's your bum red mummy?" Then you have to deal with being watched getting dry and creamed to the endless confidence crushing questions.

Moral of the story? Stick to the 9pm bath until I forget and try it all over again in a few weeks time.

1 comment:

  1. Put a lock on the door and give your husband a bucket should the kids need an emergency toilet. Sorted ;o)